A Little Bit of Everything - The P90's First Family Concert Experience

Dawes, at Long's Park in Lancaster, PA

I wrote a few months ago about how Mrs. P90 bought Newport Folk Fest tickets for my birthday and how we were going to take the whole family and how it would be an amazing first concert experience for the P90 girls. Well, about three weeks ago, we got cold feet and sold the tickets.

I was sad to sell the tickets. But considering the weekend would have cost us $2,000+ all said and done, I consoled myself by repeating “I’d rather regret not going, than regret going.”

A second consolation prize was that Dawes (one of the bands we were most excited to see), was playing a free show at a park about 1.5 hours away from our house.

Random – Dawes playing a free show at a park in Lancaster, PA. How did this happen? For my local readers, imagine Centennial Park. That’s pretty much about the size of this park, and the stage wasn’t a whole lot bigger. Either way, I give mad props to the Long’s Park Amphitheater Foundation.

So yesterday, we packed up the blue whale (pet name for the light blue Toyota Sienna that replaced the Arctic Blue Sport Wagon) and headed to Lancaster, PA. We got there about two hours before the show and were surprised to see a crowd had already gathered. We claimed a space near the stage and set off to find food and shade.

We killed some time at a playground and with 30 minutes till show time returned to our spot on the lawn. At this point, the three year-old turns to Mrs. P90 and asks “Is this almost over? I’m ready to go home.” The concept of a live band seems to have been lost on her and since there were roadies on stage and music playing, she though that was “the band.”

A few moments later, Dawes came on and the girls handled it well. They danced, they played, the three year-old climbed on Mrs. P90 and did what looked like a toddler version of crowd surfing. The eldest was bothered by the volume, but this is the girl that is afraid of the intercom in a store.  And she eventually rallied and even spent one song (Coming Back to a Man) on my shoulders up near the front of the stage.

But by the ninth or tenth song in the set the girls were losing their interest and their patience. Like the 21st century parents we are, we handed them our phones and they played with the Easy Bake Oven app.

Were we sickened that our daughters were playing with smart phones while one of the best bands around was playing in front of them? Yes. Were we doing everything we could to catch as many songs as possible? Yes. We have a new credo. We’re reclaiming our lives. We’ve bent to our children’s wills for long enough. They are now old enough to be agreeable and do some things we want to do.

As the band kicked into Peace in the Valley, the three-year old began climbing on Mrs. P90 and doing something which looked not unlike toddler moshing. And at this point, I saw what we refer to as “belligerEmy” flash across her face. I realized that while there may be Peace in the Valley, there would be no more peace on the lawn. We quickly gathered up our belongings and raced back to the blue whale as she cried because she wasn’t holding her blankie. A woman in the crowd even offered her a balloon animal dog to ease her pain. She would have none of it. A threshold had been crossed. We were in the downward spiral of a full on meltdown.

We pulled out of the lot as the band broke into “A Little Bit of Everything.” It would have been nice to hear the last few songs, but being a parent is priority one over being a music fan. And all things considered, I saw one of my favorite bands play eleven songs in the company of my three favorite people. I’d say that accounts for a little bit of everything.

I’ll Tumble for Ya

Mornings are never fun at my house. While my daughters are both extremely cute and generally quite sweet. When first awoken they resemble surly teenagers trapped inside the bodies of angry little elves.

But today was extra fun - it began with a bang. My three year-old took a tumble down the stairs as we were getting ready to leave the house. I’m not sure how she did it. I was in the kitchen. I heard a thud, and then a rumble and I got to the stairwell just in time to see her hit the bottom. She cried a little but said she was fine. We checked her for bumps and blood, gave her an ice pack, and she was fine.

It was scary as hell and the second time one of the kids has fallen down the stairs in the last year. In both cases they were fine and in both cases we couldn’t have done much to prevent the falls. I’m not saying you shouldn’t put gates at the top and bottom of your stairs, I’m just saying they won’t stop every fall.

So while my daughter began her day by tumbling down the stairs, I on the other hand, began my morning with a 2.2 mile run on a treadmill (the longest distance I have run since doing my first 5K in September).

And while my daughter felt fine a few minutes after falling down an entire set of stairs,) I feel like I’m walking around on knees filled with the little gravel that goes in the bottom of fish tanks. And since I live with two little girls, I envision knees filled with pink and purple gravel.

Oh to be a kid again. I'm not asking to be able to fall down the stairs without a scratch. But it would be nice to do a short run without feeling like my joints are filled with small rocks.

Kids Music that Doesn't Suck

Belle

Sebastian

Once upon a time, Belle & Sebastian meant something different to me. Pre-kids, they were a kick-ass little indie rock band from Scotland. Post-kids, Belle is the princess from Beauty and the Beast, and Sebastian is the crab from The Little Mermaid. Holy crap - how my life has changed. But luckily, I have found a way for them to peacefully co-exist! And yes, I agree that this is an odd post for 11/11/11 - Nigel Tufnel day...

At first, my oldest daughter had great taste in music. In her first few weeks of life, the only thing that could keep her from crying in the car was listening to Turn on Me by the Shins. As soon as the Phil Specter drum beat played, she’d settle right down. Later, the sure fire way to get her to sleep in the car was to play Sky Blue Sky by Wilco (insert joke about Wilco being boring dad rock here, I won’t take offense). She’d always fall asleep mid-way through the noisy guitar solo in Impossible Germany. She had really great taste. And then it ended.

Belle & Sebastian

Shortly after her first birthday, and during a particularly miserable car trip to Hilton Head, we broke down and bought our first “kids music” cd. It was a Backyardigans cd. And as far as kids music goes, it’s pretty good. And it did make for a much more pleasant drive back to Maryland. But then came the “silly songs,” the princesses, the Disney this and the Disney that, we were awash in a sea of aural crap and forever hearing “I don’t want to listen to adults music, I want kids music.”  Side note - Suffering through numerous repeats of Part of Your World has given me much appreciation for my father’s tolerance of Nine Inch Nails and Jesus & Mary Chain that he suffered through for 8th and 9th grade me…

So, imagine my delight last year when my four year-old asked “Daddy, who sings this song?” and I responded by saying “it’s Belle & Sebastian, like the princess and the crab!” She went for it, and said “I love this song!” And it’s not that I dislike the Backyardigans or the Imagination Movers, but I was thrilled when listening to Write About Love became our morning ritual for many a month.

So now, we walk a fine line between kids music and adult music. And thanks to Yo Gabba Gabba and a few compilations we have some kids music songs that are awesome. Case in point, from the Gabba soundtrack, All My Friends Are Insects by Weezer is without a doubt the best Weezer song since the green album, maybe since Pinkerton.

So if you’re up to your ears in kids music, here’s a playlist that can save you. Enjoy. Don't be surprised if the Band of Horses and She & Him tracks end up on my Best of 2011. And the Mark Kozelek track is nothing short of amazing.

All My Friends Are Insects - Weezer



Bunny Hop - The Hollow Trees

Out in Nature - Band of Horses



If You Ever See An Owl - The Terrible Twos

It's Okay, Try Again - The Shins

The Ninjas - Barenaked Ladies

So Long - She & Him




Jump Up! - Imagination Movers


Bedtime Lullaby - Mark Kozelek

The Beach-Free Summer

Ok, I’m going to come clean on squandering proximity to the beach. We’ve been to the Fenwick Island area about five or six times since May and we have spent maybe three hours at the beach. It feels wrong to spend the weekend at the ocean and not spend anytime there, but I partially blame nature for keeping us away. If it’s not raining, it’s a land breeze day and the green heads are unbearable. And if that’s not the case, it’s a heat index of 115!

Oh, and then there is the realization that taking a two and four year-old to the beach is almost more trouble than it’s worth. It was one thing making the annual trip to the Outer Banks and being within a two minute walk to the beach. But packing the kids and car, lugging the crap over the dunes, setting up the umbrella, sweating through your shirt only to then be attacked by the flies – it’s a tough sell.

The last time we were at the beach (a few weeks ago) we bought the yearly pass for the Delaware State Parks thinking that it would encourage us to make short trips to the beach since we wouldn’t be worried about wasting $8 on a botched 30-minute trip to the beach. Well, as soon as I paid for the pass, carried all of our “gear” down to the beach, set up the chairs and two umbrellas – the green heads struck with a vengeance! And they always strike the same way – they start biting me first, then they bite our four year-old, and then they bite the two year-old. And when the girls get bit – they lose their freaking minds! So, within the span of 30-45 minutes, we’ve paid $50 for an annual pass and lugged four chairs, two umbrellas, numerous buckets and sand toys, and 65+ pounds of children over the dunes, down the beach, and back again. Good times.

We tried the beach again the next day. This time, we are blessed with a sea breeze and the flies are nowhere to be seen. But now, my two year-old makes it abundantly clear that the ocean is a terrifying thing (at least in her mind). She won't get within 30 feet of it, and when my wife goes for a swim, my daughter just shouts "mommy, mommy, come back. I scared, I scared." It's as if she's been watching Jaws rather than Yo Gabba Gabba and princess movies.

So maybe I'm throwing in the (beach) towel? Is taking young kids to the beach is just more trouble than it's worth? I'll try again this weekend. Here's hoping for good weather, sea breezes, and patience.

HoCo Fair - Baby Animals and Deep-fried Oreos

On Sunday, Mrs. P90 and I took the kids to the Howard County Fair. There really is nothing like the fair to remind you of the diversity of Howard County. It’s the great equalizer. And it’s so much fun to walk the kids around, show them the animals, let them play in a vat of feed corn, and then dine on deep-fried Oreos.

Yes, you read that correctly, Deep Fried Oreos. Oreos in their “natural” state do nothing for me. However, if you dip them in dark chocolate or deep fry them, they take on a new life. And deep fried Oreos are a treat best consumed warm and only once a year.

If you’re a fan of Oreos and funnel cake then deep fried Oreos alone are worth the price of admission to the fair. There’s just something about the crispy exterior, the way the Oreo itself melts, and then the way the icing melts even further.

Aside from the Oreos. You can’t go wrong looking at all of the animals, especially those in the Kids Barn. Baby pigs, baby ducks, baby cows, baby bunnies, you get the idea... And then of course, there is the giant vat of feed corn for the kids to play in. We made it into the Kids Barn just as the deluge started yesterday afternoon. 1. You haven’t heard rain until you have heard it beating down on a tin roof. LOUD! 2. Kids can spend an inordinate of time rolling around in feed corn. Who knew? My kids spent about 20 minutes playing in the corn and we found no less than nine kernels in the washer and or dryer last night after we washed their clothes.

The fair runs through Saturday. Go. See Animals. Eat deep-fried Oreos. And figure out just who this HoCo Mystery Sheep is. hocoblogs@@@

My Daughter had a Black Tooth (or How I Learned to Stop Being Over-protective of my Kids)

I wasn’t always crazy and obsessed with safety and risk management. I’m blaming it on parenthood and working at various public health nonprofits. However it started, by the time my daughters had turned one and three, I might as well have bought the entire stocks of One Step Ahead and Whole Foods. I was a helicopter parent – making sure to feed them the right foods, stepping in to catch them before they fell, saying “be careful” when I caught them jumping on the couch.

And then one night after dinner, preparing to take the girls to the neighborhood playground, I “indulged” my then 3.5 year-old allowing her to wear her orange Crocs rather than securely laced sneakers. Two minutes later we were standing on the front porch fumbling for the keys while blood was pouring out of my daughter’s mouth. Somehow, between the front porch and the driveway, she had managed to face-plant and smash her front tooth into her gum. My wife wiped up blood, comforted my daughter, and I freaked out calling the dentist and the urgent care center.

It was the blood bath to end all blood baths - a cross between Fight Club and True Blood. My daughter was fine by the next morning. But I woke to realize that no matter what we do, we can't protect our kids forever and the last thing I want is for my kids to turn out like the millennials... Btw, remind me to tell you about the book I'm writing entitled "The Worst Generation." Hint, it's about the millennial's parents.

So a few weeks ago, as my two year-old was repeatedly climbing in and out of the pool and ignoring my requests that she stop, I didn't make a big deal when she smacked her tooth against the edge and took out a big chip. What could I do? No matter how careful and protective I am, my kids will do stupid things and they will get hurt. The best I can do is provide a nurturing environment, teach them right from wrong, and hope they listen to 10% of what I say.

Oh, and about the blood bath, my daughter's tooth turned gray, then bluish gray, then dark gray, the pink, and is now normal again. Apparently, kids have extremely resilient teeth.

Anthems for a 60 Year-old Man

Five years ago today my father died. It was sudden to say the least. He had been in the hospital to have surgery for prostate cancer. It went fine. He came home and started experiencing swelling in his right leg. He went back to the hospital. They said they thought he would be fine.

On the evening of July 8, 2006 Mrs. P90 and I were heading off to see Broken Social Scene and Belle & Sebastian at Merriweather. I spoke to my father on the way to the show. He was feeling fine. My wife was pregnant at the time, and my father was highly amused by the food comparisons Babycenter.com used to explain the size of the developing embryo. I ended the call with my father and he said "Tell the raspberry that grandpa is thinking about her."

We went to the show. Broken Social Scene was a little boring, but they ended with Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl (see below) and it was great. We walked towards the bathrooms and I saw that I had three voice mails and numerous missed calls from my mother, brother, and sister. "This can't be good," I thought to myself. As I was listening to a voice mail from my mother asking me to call her, my brother called and delivered the news. I couldn't really process what he was saying.

With nothing I could do, and being 600+ miles away, I went back to my seat and watched the Belle & Sebastian show. I tried to keep my mind in a positive place knowing the next few days, weeks, months would be rough.

The show was good. I remember they played Dirty Dream #2 and it was awesome.

I don't think it fully hit me until a few months later when my daughter was born. It was so strange to not be able to share it with my father. Losing a parent is such a weird thing. I don't know if you ever fully process it. I know I haven't yet. At least I was an adult. My dad was only 60, but he wasn't the picture of health. He was overweight and smoked like a chimney. If there is a moral to this story it's that I need to take better care of myself so that I will be around to meet my grand kids someday.

The Unspoken Perils of Parenthood

Seems that many people around me just had babies. To be exact, three people I know had babies in a 24 hour window last week. Whenever I hear about people in the early days of parenthood, I am overcome with a sense of pity and then relief. Pity – I’ve been there. Relief – I’m not there now!

One of the things that always astounds me, and that I forget so quickly is that babies are nocturnal. Seriously, why doesn’t anyone warn anyone else of this? Correct answer – A. we must continue the species, B. no one told us about it, and we're not telling the rest. It’s like that hamster I had as a kid – he slept all day and ran on that creaky wheel All Freaking Night Long! Except, the creaking is crying and you can’t just carry his cage down to the basement and ignore him.

Whenever a friend is about to have a baby, I say this. “It sucks! All the stuff about how great it is – lies! The other parents just want to trap you! But it gets better… then worse, then better, then worse, and then eventually better until someone gets a stomach bug…” But seriously, it kind of sucks. But then one day you adjust, and it’s totally worth it, and you can’t imagine life any other way.

Another friend mentioned being so tired they felt drunk. I remember that. I remember walking into a wall in the middle of the night carrying a dirty diaper to the trash. Boom! Luckily I didn’t break my nose or drop poo all over floor.

And then there’s the vacuum cd. If you are reading this, I hope you will never need a vacuum cd. Our eldest daughter had colic. She was a perfect baby - for three weeks. And then a switch went off inside and she started crying every night. For four or so hours at a time. She’d start crying around 6:00 PM and if would just go on, and on, and on. It was the saddest thing ever. We rocked her, cradled her, everything we could try. One night we turned on the vacuum and it calmed her down. We downloaded a 60 minute MP3 of a vacuum. It was in every cd player (there were these things called "compact discs," they were like iPods, oh, never mind), every iPod, in every car. We listened to it for hours nightly. We shouted conversations above it. We sent friends and family screaming from our home. They couldn’t handle the vacuum cd! We watched tv with subtitles. To this day, I still haven’t heard the dialog to the final season of the Gilmore Girls.

Another of the friends who had a baby last week commented on Facebook that their toddler wants the baby returned to the baby store. I can sympathize. I have been oft quoted as saying that the two best days of my life were when my daughters were born. The two worst days – the days we brought them home from the hospital. You're working on no sleep, and suddenly you have to care for this helpless little baby. One word – terror. There's no owners manual, no warranty, nothing. If there were a return policy, I might have tried.

But luckily, there is no return option. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made it through the hellish early years/months. So if you're behind me on this journey, consider this your warning. And if you're ahead of me, don't tell me what's around the corner. I choose ignorance. Something tells me I'm just writing the first chapter on this. And it's bad enough knowing that I will eventually share my home with two teenage girls...

When is Princess Leia Going to Sing Her Song?

I showed the girls an abbreviated version of Empire Strikes Back last weekend. They liked it. As I’ve said, before, I’m thrilled to have two girls and no boys. The only thing I lament is the lack of boys toys (Star Wars, Transformers, etc.).

A few weeks ago, we visited my mom in KY. Aside from the distillery tours, the highlight of the trip was sharing my old toys with my daughters. My four year-old asked me why I didn’t have any princess toys. I responded by pulling out the Star Wars toys and introducing her to Princess Leia. My two year-old was enamored with R2D2 and the taun-taun. They only wanted to bring those three home.

What, no love for Darth Vader, Boba Fet, or Luke? Sadly, Chewbacca was lost years ago. I can only assume that my sister hid him from me or one of my brother’s dip$hit friends launched him into orbit via a bottle rocket. And yes, seeing as it was Kentucky in the early 80’s, parents let their kids play with bottle rockets. Not my parents. My parents were smart enough to move us to Maryland. Though sadly, still dumb enough to subject us to Catholic schools prior to our move…

But back to my point, we were watching Empire and my four year-old says “But daddy, when is Princess Leia going to sing her song?” After laughing for roughly ten minutes, I explained that there are no songs in Star Wars (aside from Bill Murray as a lounge singer, doing “star wars, if they could bar wars, please let these star wars stay).” I can understand why she would expect a song though. Princesses always sing a song. 

Next up – Return of the Jedi. I figure they will love the Ewoks.

Succeeding at not Being Lazy

It turns out I have the best personal trainers around. Well, the best cheering section at least. The Mrs. And I started the Couch-to-5k program on Friday morning. Due to some glare and being a little groggy, I accidentally started us on Day 3 by spinning a little wheel on the iPhone app before hitting “start.” Oops.

We’re finally using the jogging stroller for jogging. We bought it for off-roading and things of that nature. Aside from adding an extra 60 lbs. worth of work-out to the mix, the girls keep us on pace and cheer us on.

Part of the Couch-to-5k program is doing intervals of jogging and walking. During our warm-up walk, my four year-old quipped “Why aren’t you guys running? You said we were going running!” Luckily, her tone improved as we continued. They both shouted “We’re going fast now” and “faster, faster” during the run. And then at the end, the two year-old said “good job guys, good running.”

Works for me. Especially since I’m running for them. My dad died at 60. I’m in better shape than he was at my age, and I don’t smoke. But I’d like to make sure I have a lot more than just 25 more years with them.

We ran again yesterday and they were just as cheerful. Let's hope it lasts.

Strawberry Ice Cream Forever

The P90s spent the Memorial Day weekend near Fenwick Island, DE. One afternoon, we happened upon a “pick your own” strawberry farm and thought the girls would love it. They did! The farmer was very friendly and encouraged the girls to “eat as many as they like while they picked.”

1. I’m not sure he realized just how much our two year-old likes strawberries or how many strawberries a 28 lb. girl can put away in 20-30 minutes. Hopefully she didn’t put him out of business.

2. He doesn’t use pesticides or fertilizers, so I begrudgingly let the girls eat while they picked. Here’s hoping no animals “took care of business” on the strawberries…

So, even though our two year-old ate about four strawberries for every one she put in the basket, we ended up with a ridiculous amount of strawberries. We ate them fresh, we dipped them in chocolate (after the girls went to bed), and we still had leftovers.

The remaining berries were going downhill fast, so we decided to make something to preserve them. When in Fenwick/Bayside, we frequent an ice cream shop called the Blue Scoop. It’s amazing. Check it out! Our four-year old says that when she owns an ice cream shop, it will be called the Pink Scoop.

So yesterday, we made the first official batch of Pink Scoop ice cream – fresh strawberry ice cream. It was delicious. We took it to a cook out and had it with pound cake and more fresh strawberries. It tasted like summer. Here’s the recipe.

Fresh Strawberry Ice Cream Recipe

• Rinse and trim 1 pint of strawberries and then crush by hand
• Combine 2 cups light cream, one can of sweetened condensed milk, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• Combine the above and place in an ice cream maker.*
• Eat!

*Having been married in 2001, the P90s have the little Cuisinart ice cream maker that was de rigueur for bridal registries at that time. We use it twice a year at best… That’s better than the fondue set! What’s that thing about hindsight?

Trying not to be fat and lazy

Last year I signed up for the Dogfish Dash 5K. I trained a little and then got side-tracked. A few weeks before the race, we were invited to a birthday party (taking place on race day) at Clark’s Ellioak Farm.

It was an easy excuse to bail on the race.The girls love Ellioak Farm. When our now four year-old was two, we had a four-six month stretch where every night before bed, she demanded an Ellioak Farm story. Now that we are usually required to do P90 girls meet Tiana, P90 girls meet Ariel, or P90 girls meet Cinderella story, I really miss those Ellioak Farm stories.

But back to my point. I registered again for the Dogfish Dash. I figure if beer is largely to blame for my 20-30 lbs of excess weight – it can be part of the solution. And a race with beer at the end seems like a good idea.

So this week, I’m starting to train. I’m using the Couch-to-5K method and downloaded a handy app that will integrate voice prompts for interval training with my chosen playlist. Here goes nothing…

Tooth Lotion

My two year-old (technically she's 2.5) is a stereotype. Tonight, she repeatedly slipped carrots to the dog (waiting ever so patiently under the table). When we told her to stop, she chewed them up and spit them back out on her plate. After that she was sent to time out. Her response - "I'm bad. I'm goin' to time out."

Later, she and my wife were upstairs. My wife noticed that she had been quiet for about two minutes and went to see what kind of trouble she was getting into. Turns out she had gotten down the tooth paste and rubbed it over her arms, legs, and face. Her response "It's my lotion. It's toothpaste lotion."

As we put her in the tub and explained that tooth paste is indeed not lotion she simply said - "Don't put it on my body? Just my mouth?"

Yes, apparently we need to remind kids that tooth paste is not lotion. I'm thankful we don't have a VCR - I'm sure she would be using it as a toaster...

The Great Fish Debacle

Why wouldn't a fish need a castle?

A few nights ago, my wife called right as I was leaving work. “We have a situation,” she says. “The girls really wanted to see sharks and turtles so we went to the pet store and bought fish and an aquarium. I did everything right, but the fish are dead in the bag!”

Aside from the fact that fish are neither turtles nor sharks, we decided that the best plan of action would be for me to swing by the pet store on the way home, buy some “replacement” fish, and smuggle them into the house.

Rolling with my best James Bond, I slipped into the house and carried the fish upstairs. After dinner, the girls were very excited as we netted the fish and placed them in their new home. Never afraid to overstate the obvious, my 2 y.o. proclaimed “Those are my fishies. He’s orange.” Meanwhile, our 4 y.o. pulled up a chair and proceeded to stare at the fish for about an hour.

Amidst the piscean excitement, I gently reminded them that they already have a (totally kick-ass) pet – Daisy the dog. My 4 y.o. responded by saying “I like Daisy, but I really wanted a pet for my room.” Whatever. That's a battle for another day.

After all of the naming was done, we ended up with Tiana and Prince Naveen. What a surprise… I was hoping for Belle & Sebastian or at least something ironic like Jaws and Flipper. Someday I will get to name someone/something. I’m not holding my breath.

Fast forward to last night. 1. We notice what looks like white mold growing on Tiana. This isn’t good. 2. Naveen is pulling a Nemo and seems to have only one functioning flipper. Also not good. Probably good we didn’t name him flipper.The cruelty of the irony would be too much.

As I was putting the girls to bed, I noticed that Tiana was no longer of this world and was now stuck to the filter. I informed my wife and we agreed that I would sneak in after the girls went to bed and “rescue” her. Hopefully she will meet her prince in the fish after-life…

Playing the role of James Bond for the second time in 36 hours, I slipped on my LED-fitted baseball cap (perfect for walking the dog after dark and dealing with under sink plumbing issues) and set about my mission. Setting about my work, I discovered that Nemo had set out upon his journey to the continental shelf that is fish heaven. No one caught me in the act. I’m clever like that.

My wife informed the girls that the fishies were sick and daddy took them back to the store so they could get better.

Now we set about treating the aquarium for ick and try again in a few days. Here’s hoping the third time is the charm.

The good news is that if it turns out that Snakeheads are a real threat, they can all be sent to our house. We'll kill them quickly...

And here’s School of Fish performing Three Strange Days!

She’s Taking my Turtle!

It turns out my two year-old really likes turtles. The girls surprised me with a trip to the National Aquarium on Friday evening. When we went in the fall, the sharks and rays were the highlight. This time, it was all about turtles – to the extent that the girls almost came to blows over a turtle.

To properly set the scene, we need to get into the mindset of a two-year old. From my experience, they like to provide running commentary on everything they do and they are prone to overstating the obvious. Examples: “I’m putting shoes on, I’m wearing my shoes!” “I’m eating pancakes.”

So, there we are in the Aquarium calmly staring through the glass into a scene from Amazonia. There is a large turtle floating in front of my two-year old. Her response “That turtle is looking at me. He’s my turtle, he’s looking at me.” This commentary extends for a few minutes until said turtle begins to paddle toward my four year-old daughter. At this point, the little one begins shouting “She’s taking my turtle, she’s taking my turtle,” and begins pushing her older sister out of the way.

I’m not sure what kind of Crocodile Dundee animal control powers she thinks her sister has, but whatever. A few seconds later, the turtle turns around and we’re back to “He’s my turtle, he’s swimming in the water, he’s a turtle…”

Let them Eat (Pan)cakes

Why am I pre-mixing the dry and wet ingredients for pancakes at 11:30 on a Friday night? Because I have a two-year old daughter and pancakes are one of the 5-6 items she will eat. Other items include: mac & cheese, cheese sticks, peanut butter sandwiches, Goldfish crackers, etc. Either way, she has spent every morning this week demanding pancakes and I don't want to face the toddler revolution tomorrow morning!

It doesn't hurt that my four-year old is pretty crazy for the pancakes as well. And my wife (who once claimed that smelling pancakes in the morning made her sick) doesn't seem to mind them either.

So lucky you, I'm sharing my "secret pancake recipe." Shh, don't tell anyone, but the secret is cinnamon and buttermilk - full fat "Old Time Buttermilk" from the Teet (Harris Teeter for those following along at home). And yes, I sometimes like to say "I'm heading up to the Teet to get some milk!"

Here is the recipe. Be warned though, these are addictive and you may find yourself pre-mixing pancake batter on a Friday night...

Buttermilk Pancakes

2 cups all purpose flour
3 Tbs sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon (you might want to use less to start)

2 eggs
2 1/2 cups buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 stick melted butter

Mix the dry and wet ingredients separately then whisk together and you are good to go.

Cook over medium heat. Your life will be much easier if you own a nonstick griddle. The girls were nice enough to get me one for my birthday last year.

Note: This batter makes a great base for a variety of pancakes. We like to add diced bananas, chocolate chips, finely shredded coconut, blueberries, etc. A few weeks ago, we tried cinnamon chips from Ann's House of Nuts, they were excellent.

Variation: Try substituting 1 cup of coconut milk in place of 1 cup of the buttermilk. It's pretty awesome.

And there you have it - secret recipe pancakes.

hocofood@@@

Elmo vs. Katy Perry: Which is Worse?

So, a Katy Perry clip has been pulled from Sesame Street. I’m glad. Katy Perry’s time should have ended long ago. But then again, somehow the Black-eyed Peas still exist to torment my ears.

I have kids that watch Sesame Street. I’ve made no secret of my hatred of Elmo - his piercing voice, his constant barrage of “why!” Any time I see someone wearing a red fleece jacket, I secretly hope that they have killed Elmo and made a coat from his fur. Sadly, this never manages to be the case.

I’m also guilty of not buying a Tinkerbell shirt for my daughter because I thought “Tink’s” dress was a tad too short. I guess I’m that dad. However, when it comes to Katy Perry’s outfit on Sesame Street, it offended me a lot less than her crappy song.

And on that note, here is a list of the Top 5 bands/songs I’d like to see on Sesame Street.

1. Eels – I Like Birds: I can just see a bunch of muppet birds and Elmo and Mark Oliver Everett watching them. Bonus points because Everett goes by the name E and he and Elmo can discuss that both of their names start with the same letter.
   
   
2. Monsters of Folk – Say Please: A lesson on manners! And I don’t know about you, but Jim James, M. Ward, and Conor Oberst seem like perfect Sesame Street people to me. Bonus points: Cookie Monster can talk to them about he is also a monster.
   
   
3. Okkervil River – Lost Coastlines: My initial thought on this one is that it could be about maps and cartography.
   
   
4. Death Cab for Cutie - Different Names for the Same Thing: I’m imaging a lovely lesson on synonyms...
   
   
5. M. Ward – Here Comes the Sun Again: This one is easy. It’s either about the sun rising or it’s about photosynthesis.

And I’m still thinking that Highly Suspicious by My Morning Jacket could be a good fit. I’m thinking a piece on “stranger danger.” I can just imagine Cookie Monster singing the “Highly Suspicious” line.