The Great Fish Debacle

Why wouldn't a fish need a castle?

A few nights ago, my wife called right as I was leaving work. “We have a situation,” she says. “The girls really wanted to see sharks and turtles so we went to the pet store and bought fish and an aquarium. I did everything right, but the fish are dead in the bag!”

Aside from the fact that fish are neither turtles nor sharks, we decided that the best plan of action would be for me to swing by the pet store on the way home, buy some “replacement” fish, and smuggle them into the house.

Rolling with my best James Bond, I slipped into the house and carried the fish upstairs. After dinner, the girls were very excited as we netted the fish and placed them in their new home. Never afraid to overstate the obvious, my 2 y.o. proclaimed “Those are my fishies. He’s orange.” Meanwhile, our 4 y.o. pulled up a chair and proceeded to stare at the fish for about an hour.

Amidst the piscean excitement, I gently reminded them that they already have a (totally kick-ass) pet – Daisy the dog. My 4 y.o. responded by saying “I like Daisy, but I really wanted a pet for my room.” Whatever. That's a battle for another day.

After all of the naming was done, we ended up with Tiana and Prince Naveen. What a surprise… I was hoping for Belle & Sebastian or at least something ironic like Jaws and Flipper. Someday I will get to name someone/something. I’m not holding my breath.

Fast forward to last night. 1. We notice what looks like white mold growing on Tiana. This isn’t good. 2. Naveen is pulling a Nemo and seems to have only one functioning flipper. Also not good. Probably good we didn’t name him flipper.The cruelty of the irony would be too much.

As I was putting the girls to bed, I noticed that Tiana was no longer of this world and was now stuck to the filter. I informed my wife and we agreed that I would sneak in after the girls went to bed and “rescue” her. Hopefully she will meet her prince in the fish after-life…

Playing the role of James Bond for the second time in 36 hours, I slipped on my LED-fitted baseball cap (perfect for walking the dog after dark and dealing with under sink plumbing issues) and set about my mission. Setting about my work, I discovered that Nemo had set out upon his journey to the continental shelf that is fish heaven. No one caught me in the act. I’m clever like that.

My wife informed the girls that the fishies were sick and daddy took them back to the store so they could get better.

Now we set about treating the aquarium for ick and try again in a few days. Here’s hoping the third time is the charm.

The good news is that if it turns out that Snakeheads are a real threat, they can all be sent to our house. We'll kill them quickly...

And here’s School of Fish performing Three Strange Days!